“Let there be light… monitoring.” — Genesis Debug Log, v1.0
HeavenOps Glyph Roster
Team: Celestial DevOps Platform — Lead: Archangel Michael
Welcome to the official HeavenOps Glyph Roster—a classified log of the angels assigned to the Celestial DevOps Platform. Each member brings a unique blend of mythological gravitas and technical prowess, ensuring uptime, security, and the occasional miracle. If you spot a deployment anomaly, rest assured: it’s probably intentional (or a feature).
Key Roles at a Glance:
- 🧑💻 Raphael: Merge Angel & Bug Healer
- 🔥 Uriel: Deployment Architect
- 📦 Gabriel: CI/CD Prophet
- 🗂️ Michael: IAM Overlord
- 🌩️ Metatron: Stack Trace Translator
- 🧙♂️ Rasputin: Rogue Debugger
- 🐍 The Serpent: Chaos Agent (Revoked)
- 🎶 Sandalphon: Release Manager
- 🥧 Zadkiel: Incident Response
- ⚰️ Azrael: Legacy Decommissioner
- 👁️ Remiel: Monitoring Angel
- 🎨 Haniel: UX Evangelist
- ☁️ Ariel: Cloud Guardian
- 👶 Intern Cherub: Wildcard/Intern
Celestial Trivia:
- The HeavenOps team once achieved 100% uptime during a leap year, but only after a divine intervention.
- Intern Cherub is still learning YAML, but already has more certifications than most mortals.
- The Serpent’s access was revoked after a forbidden commit that introduced recursion into the Book of Genesis.
| Name | Role | Specialization | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🧑💻 Raphael | Code Custodian & Merge Angel | Healing merge conflicts, code reviews | Known for miraculous bug fixes. |
| 🔥 Uriel | Deployment Architect of Eternal Fire | Hotfixes, rollback rituals | Deploys with fire—literally. |
| 📦 Gabriel | CI/CD Prophet, Messenger of Build Logs | Pipeline prophecy, notifications | Delivers build status with trumpet flair. |
| 🗂️ Michael | IAM Overlord & Permission Purifier | Access control, security audits | Defeated the root user in single combat. |
| 🌩️ Metatron | Voice of the Stack Trace | Logging, error translation | Converts cryptic errors to divine wisdom. |
| 🧙♂️ Rasputin | Rogue Debugger from Shadow Namespace | Unorthodox troubleshooting | Once debugged a production miracle. |
| 🐍 The Serpent | Unstable Dev Whisperer (Revoked) | Social engineering, chaos | Access revoked after forbidden commit. |
| 🎶 Sandalphon | Release Manager | Production launches, deployment coordination | Orchestrates go-lives with angelic precision—never misses a deploy window, except during solar eclipses. |
| 🥧 Zadkiel | Incident Response Angel | Postmortems, blameless retrospectives | Appears only after midnight outages, always brings comfort food. |
| ⚰️ Azrael | Legacy System Decommissioner | Service sunsetting, data migration | Guides old code to a peaceful end—sometimes with a eulogy. |
| 👁️ Remiel | Monitoring & Observability | Uptime, alerts, dashboards | Watches over the flock of running services, occasionally sends cryptic alerts. |
| 🎨 Haniel | UX Evangelist | User happiness, accessibility, design | Advocates for joy in every interface, rumored to have invented dark mode. |
| ☁️ Ariel | Cloud Infrastructure Guardian | Resource provisioning, scaling | Ensures the heavens auto-scale gracefully, but dislikes vendor lock-in. |
| 👶 Intern Cherub | Wildcard/Intern | Miscellaneous, coffee runs | Still learning YAML, but brings celestial energy to every standup. |
Roster maintained by the Celestial Scribe. For the non-celestial, see apostles team.
→ See Slack Profiles for the Divine DevOps Team
Interested in joining HeavenOps? Contact HR via the Confession Booth below, /pray, or submit a pull request to the Book of Life. Divine certifications preferred, but not required.