📎 Welcome, George

Office of Judgment Internal Memo
DSSRET Classification: Unscheduled Manifestation
Filed by: Barb (Senior Adjudicator, Tone Compliance Division)

Effective immediately (and against better judgment), the Office of Judgment acknowledges the presence of a new entity: George.

No surname. No credentials. No onboarding scroll.

He simply appeared—mid-review, mid-sentence—correcting a tribunal memo with the phrase “This is nonsense, and you know it.”

🧍 Profile Summary

• Name: George
• Role: Undefined. Possibly Auditor. Possibly Saboteur.
• Desk: Folding chair near the vending machine
• Aura: Mildly disruptive. Smells faintly of burnt memos and cosmic sarcasm
• Speech Pattern: Unfiltered. Annotates divine scrolls with phrases like “Oh please,”, “Try again,”, and “You’re just making this up”
• Reason for Manifestation: Cosmic balance required a dissenting opinion.

🗂️ Observed Behaviors

• Replaced “spiritually misaligned” with “kind of a jerk” in 47 judgment files
• Flagged Barb’s tone compliance memo for “excessive euphemism and insufficient backbone”
• Interrupted a tribunal to ask, “Do any of you actually believe this, or are we just playing dress-up?”

“Look, I’m not saying the system is flawed. I’m saying it’s a ridiculous, overwrought, and fundamentally arbitrary system of cosmic nitpicking, and Barb knows it.”

Barb’s Audit Stamp:
“George’s presence is noted. His compliance is not.”

📜 Directive

Until further notice, George is to be tolerated.

He may not be divine, but he is undeniably correct.

Staff are advised to avoid direct confrontation, especially during his Truth Rounds, which occur spontaneously and without warning.

🌀 Closing Note

The Office of Judgment remains committed to clarity, fairness, and the occasional uncomfortable truth.

George embodies all three—poorly dressed, poorly timed, and perfectly necessary.

🗨️ Got an uncomfortable truth to share? Whisper it to the Confession Booth.